


Shadows and Repressed Memories

by Kakakuroo



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, Emotional Vulnerability, I am not a lengthy writer, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Mention of gore or burnt flesh, Night Terrors, No shipping just sibling bonding, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sibling Bonding, Some Fluff, Trauma, mental breakdowns, mild emetophobia, mostly just short oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27510979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kakakuroo/pseuds/Kakakuroo
Summary: Five is back home from spending 45 years alone in the apocalypse and struggling to find ways to cope. Eventually, his siblings start to pick up on it
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Allison Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Luther Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 24
Kudos: 172





	1. Nightlight

**Author's Note:**

> Hello !  
> This is a little series about the Hargreeves sibs realizing what Five went through in those 45 years. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, I would never consider myself a writer, I just love TUA and Five and wanted to share my thoughts and ideas.  
> I am not looking for constructive criticism at this time - I amn just ... a litle creecher, I amn jus vibing.  
> Thanks for the support :)

It was the little things they began to notice.

Five sneaking an extra roll at dinner and shoving it into his pocket. Never closing his door at night and refusing to sleep without the hall light on. Licking the condensation off the side of his water glass when he thought nobody was looking.

Someone could tell you they spent a lifetime alone but it would never register just exactly what they had been through. How can you imagine being alone for 45 years in a post-apocalyptic wasteland spending every second of your life searching for food and water and securing shelter ? Surviving only on roaches and the morning dew. Just hoping, _praying_ , **begging** that one day you will make it back home ?

Allison noticed it first- A nightlight plugged into the wall across from Five’s bedroom. Since when did anyone in the house use a nightlight ? Even as children that was forbidden.

As she reached to unplug it, Five appeared behind her with a flash of blue light snatching her wrist in an almost bruising grip

His hair was a mess. His eyes were wild. His jaw set stubbornly as he pressed his lips into a thin line, staring her down as she held her other hand up in surrender, eyeing him worryingly.

There was something stirring behind his eyes. His gaze clouded by an emotion she had never seen him express. Not quite embarrassment, not quite anger …. fear ?

“Fucking try that shit again and I’ll make sure you don’t have a hand to unplug it with” he seethed as Allison quickly withdrew her hand from his grasp.

“I’m sorry”, Allison managed to say as she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She had never seen him like this. It was like watching a caged animal terrified of its food bowl being taken away.

But as quick as Five appeared, he was gone. As he usually is. Leaving Allison speechless in the dark hallway lit only by the nightlight that remained untouched.


	2. White Noise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something Allison says doesn't sit right with Diego and so he does what he think will help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there are a lot of different views on this, but the inspiration came from the idea of Five having suffered through the dead silence of the apocalypse long enough that maybe some white noise to drown it out might be comforting.
> 
> Don't know WHY I thought Diego would have one of these but I did

Heavy boots in the doorway grabbed Five’s attention. Reluctantly pulling away from the equation he was slaving over on the small patch of untouched wallpaper behind his bed, his eyes met those with Diego’s standing in the mouth of his bedroom.

An unspoken “ _what do you want, this better be important”_ radiated off of Five as his glare remained unwavering, burrowing into Diego until he either fucked off or began talking.

“Hey, uh” Diego started, hesitantly fiddling with something in his hands.

Five’s eyebrows shot up, gesturing with his hands to spit it out already. He was a very busy man, shit to do … equations to solve …

“Allison” Diego started again, “ she um, she mentioned something earlier-”

Diego knew he hit a nerve before he could finish his sentence. He could feel the heat seething off of Five from across the room. His eyebrows had now dramatically curved downwards, his nose flared and he pursed his lips together as his stare somehow began to dig even deeper into Diego. Diego couldn’t pinpoint if Five was about to fight or disappear. Or both.

Quickly turning the topic, Diego continued “I don’t know I just thought this could help.”

He placed the item that was in his hands on top of the dresser before quickly turning his heels to leave. Before making his exit, Diego took once last glimpse at his brother; the fire was still in his eyes but one brow had relaxed and his mouth fell slightly agape as he watched Diego leave.

Once Five was sure Diego was gone, he blinked over to the dresser. It was a machine. A small white machine. He timidly picked it up and began to look it over -

“It’s my old white noise maker. You know so at least you won’t have to sit in the silence anymore-”

 _Fuck_. Five felt himself jump as Diego’s voice appeared again in he doorway. He swore Diego had gone down the hall already. Since when does he let his guard down- he really needs to get his god damn thoughts together.

He turned towards Diego with his teeth clenched, ready to lash out but for once, Five couldn’t think of a comeback. No snarky bite or sarcastic jab came to mind, instead he let his eyes soften and his eyebrows relax in an understood “ _thank you but don’t say anything, or I really will gut you like a fish”._

Once Diego had gone, for good this time, Five immediately plugged in the noise maker and switched it on. He felt his chest tighten once the low vibrations reached his ears. He then glanced over at the nightlight across the hall. Maybe, just _maybe_ for once he could get some sleep tonight


	3. Ash and Coal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus finds something he lowkey wishes he didn't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I would never consider myself a writer, I just love TUA and Five and wanted to share my thoughts and ideas.  
> I am not looking for constructive criticism at this time - I amn just ... a litle creecher, I amn jus vibing.  
> Thanks for the support :)

“Lighter, lighter, lighter…” Klaus mumbled to himself as he searched through the kitchen cabinets. Pushing aside empty coffee mugs and plain white plates, the clatter echoing through the empty kitchen.

He moved his search into the living room, shoving off the couch pillows and patting down the cushions. “I know I left it here. Come out come out wherever you are ~” he sing songed as he continued his assault on the couch.

“Ah HAH” he shouted, pulling a zippo out from between the couch cushions and planting a kiss on the lighter.

That’s when something else caught his eye. A small, black moleskin journal shoved between the armrest of the couch and the back cushion. It was tattered and worn, obviously it had seen better days. Curiosity getting the better of him, Klaus helped himself to a little sneak peak.

“Oh _someone_ has been busy” he said to himself as he casually skimmed through the book. Obviously this belonged to Five. Evident by the inclusion of the disturbing, in-depth descriptions of the burnt down wasteland Five had spent his life in.

Flipping through the first few pages was standard enough, despite the soul crushing logs of Five’s everyday life living alone in the burning, lifeless apocalypse; it was full of daily tasks and activities, lists of random items, check lists with multiple items crossed through or scribbled out completely, and a few full pages consisting of nothing but tally marks upon tally marks. _So many tally marks_.

As Klaus skimmed through the journal, the passages became darker. Talking about nothing but each day Five went without food or water, experiencing the crippling silence of the nights, surviving the heavy, heat of the day, growing accustomed to the stink of decay, and the _desperation and overwhelming desire_ to hear another voice.

As he read on, the pages became less and less coherent; the hand writing became sloppier, pages were torn out or scribbled out entirely. Eventually the writing was omitted entirely in favor of pictures consisting mostly of crumbled buildings, his beloved mannequin wife, piles of rubble and …. bodies ?

Oh. _Oh_.

Klaus felt his own body go cold as he continued to flip through the journal, his eyebrows furrowing as he felt his breath start to quicken. The last pages of the journal were nothing but indistinguishable portraits, obviously made from ash or coal, messy and incoherent.

But something deeply disturbing settled in Klaus’ chests as he closed his eyes tight. Thinking back on his own childhood:

These images looked familiar. _Way_ too familiar.

_What the **hell** did Five see in the apocalypse ???_

—

Trying to keep as casual as possible, Klaus made his move to confront Five when he was in the kitchen making his third carafe of coffee of the afternoon.

Clearing his throat, Klaus called out to him cheerily, “There he is ! There’s our little savior of the apocalypse !”

Turning his attention to Klaus, Five felt his eyes widen with fear. The realization dawning on him what exactly Klaus was holding up in his hands.

“What the fuck is that. What the _fuck_ is that ?? Where did you find that ?” Five demanded, dropping his coffee mug and letting it fall and shatter on the ground. His glare focusing in on the journal in Klaus’ hands as he fought the bile rising in his throat. Panic threatening to overpower his body.

Klaus opened his mouth to speak, but the sight of his brother for once left him speechless. He looked _terrified_. _threatened_. Something Klaus had never seen from his brother before.

Five remained unmoved, eyes still fixed on Klaus and the journal. His silence saying more than words ever could; “ _Please. Please for the love of god tell me you didn’t read it_ ” was plastered all over his face as he felt his fingers begin to tap at his side

“Hey”, Klaus started , “hey, buddy, it’s okay it’s -”

“ _NO_ , Klaus. It’s _NOT_ fucking okay”, Five shouted at him. Voice cracking just enough that anyone who did not know Five would have missed it

“Hey, I’m just-”

But within seconds Five had warped in front of his brother, yanked the journal from his hands, and vanished again entirely from the room. The carafe of coffee remaining untouched on the counter.

——–

Klaus found Five in his room, crouched on the floor clutching the journal to his chest. Was he … laughing ? Trembling ? _Crying_ ?

“Fives,” Klaus started, hand reaching out to him

Five whipped his head towards his brother. His pupils blown wide, his hair a mess and his breathing visibly labored.

“You looked” was all Five said.

Klaus said nothing but instead just nodded his head and chewed his lip. Trying to give Five the most sympathetic look he could muster. “Yeah, bud. I looked.”

“I’m not seeing a fucking therapist” Five muttered through gritted teeth. He narrowed his eyes at Klaus, desperately hoping to mask the panic he felt festering in his chest

“A therapist ?” Klaus questioned, eyebrows raised high. “Oh no, no no no. _This_ , my dear brother, we can handle.”

Klaus sauntered to the bed, collapsing with a huff and waving Five over to take a seat next to him.

Hesitantly, Five approached his side next to the bed. Fingers still gripped tightly around the journal. It was evident Five would rather die fighting than give this book up willingly.

Silence fell heavy between them, driving Klaus crazy until he couldn’t take it anymore. Breaking the silence, Klaus let out a low whistle, “so it’s not just me anymore, huh ?” He said with a grin and letting out an airy laugh. “Trying to steal my title, are we ?”

Five remained silent, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes at Klaus daring him to continue talking.

Letting out an exasperated sigh and running a hand through his hair, Klaus stood and gestured to the journal still clutched in Five’s hands. “Do you still see those ? Boogeyman still getting you down ?”

Klaus watched Five’s eyes grow glassy as he hesitantly nodded his head. Opening his mouth enough to let out a shaky breath.

Klaus just furrowed his brows, waiting for Five to elaborate

Slowly, Five let up his grip of the journal, holding it with one hand in favor of reaching under his pillow to yank out a large binder. With shaky hands, he held it to Klaus.

Klaus’s eyes grew wide as he he took the binder from Five. “Oof, okay. Have some free time on our hands, do we ?” He said with a chuckle.

Five just continued to stare at Klaus, expression stern as he took a seat at the edge of his bed, tucking his knees into his chest and setting his journal beside him. “Just don’t … don’t let anyone else see this.”

With a nod, Klaus nonchalantly began flipping through the crumpled piles of papers that were shoved into the binder, only breaking the silence to let out an occasional “ _ohhh_ ” or “ _okay, I see what you did here”_

Masking the fear of his own repressed memories and existential dread creeping up his spine, Klaus closed the binder with a hum and smiled warmly at Five. Gently handing him back the binder.

Five stood and snatched the binder back, quickly cramming it back under his pillow. Eyes meeting again with Klaus’, waiting for him to say something. _Anything_.

But Klaus just smiled and pretended to zip his lips closed and throw away the key, eliciting a small smile to twist on Five’s lips.

Reaching out his arms, Klaus held Five’s shoulders. Giving the side of his arm a good pat before letting him go.

And in that moment Five knew if anybody, Klaus understood what he went through. The things he saw. The things he still sees when he closes his eyes. The images of the decaying corpses, the mangled faces that still haunt is dreams whenever he tries to sleep.

and for a second it felt good to know someone was there to share your experiences. To have someone who didn’t look at you like you were crazy. To have someone who didn’t shrug you off and tell you to seek professional help. To have someone who didn’t try to _fix you_ or _lecture you_. To have someone who didn’t _pity_ your existence, but to have someone to tell you they _get it_ without having to say anything at all.

Just for a second, Five didn’t feel alone.


	4. Night Terrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five has a night terror and gets some well deserved support and comfort from his siblings
> 
> ugh pls just let Five get the unconditional love, support and validation he deserves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I would never consider myself a writer, I just love TUA and Five and wanted to share my thoughts and ideas.  
> I am not looking for constructive criticism at this time - I amn just ... a litle creecher, I amn jus vibing.  
> Thanks for the support :)

It was something like they had never heard before. A blood curdling scream came booming down the stairs, flooding into the rest of the academy. 

"What the hell is that ?" Diego asked, immediately getting to his feet.

"Is-is that coming from upstairs ?" Allison asked, concern spreading across her face as she exchanged glances with Diego and Vanya.

"Five."

Without skipping a beat, Diego bolted towards the stairs. Vanya and Allison following close behind.

As they made their way closer to Five's bedroom, the wailing only became louder. The shrill sound of it was piercing, deafening and  _heartbreaking _.

Entering his room, they confirmed the origin of the howling. In his bed, Five was screaming bloody murder while still dead in his sleep. His eyebrows pinched in distress, sweat beading on his forehead and his body flailing under the comforter as his yells continued to billow out of his mouth. Persistent no's spilled from his lips as he shook his head back and forth as if trying to fight something off.

"Hey. Five.  _Hey _." Diego shouted as he shook Five's shoulder, but the boy didn't budge.

"No", Vanya begged, grabbing onto Diego's arm and desperately trying to pull him back. "You're not supposed to wake someone up when they're like this !"

"You expect me to just stand here and listen to him scream like that ?" Diego snapped back at her, breaking his arm free from her grip to give Five another shake

" _Stop_." Vanya begged. "That's not helping anything, you need to be calm."

Allison had already taken a seat next to Five on the bed, pushing his messy bangs back gently as he continued to shriek and thrash under the sheets.

"Hey", she soothed, "hey wake up, Five, it's okay. Everything is okay."

But Five didn't respond. His yelling persisted as Allison looked up at her siblings with concern. Brows knitted together as she comfortingly rubbed her hand up and down Five's arm.

"What are we supposed to do ?  **He won't wake up** ."

"I was told when someone is having a night terror you're supposed to wait it out. Waking them will only make it worse," Vanya responded softly. Her voice barely above a whisper as she crossed her arms over her chest, looking up at Diego.

"So what do we do ? Stand here and just let this happen ?" Diego questioned bitterly.

"Yes", Vanya and Allison said in unison.

Suddenly with a sharp gasp, Five's eyes shot open as he lurched forward in the bed. Folding over his outstretched legs as he hugged himself tight. Allison's hand immediately following him to support his back. 

Taking massive gulps of air, Five fought to regain his breathing. He could see in his peripherals the large shadows that continued to loom over him; his mind too fuzzy -  a _nd too frightened_ \- to try to decipher exactly  _what _ was still watching him. 

As he began to regulate his breathing, the trembling in his fingers faltered and his senses started to return to him. The static in his ears lifting as he heard whispering and mumbling around him. 

Something was touching him. Something was rubbing his back. Or rather, some _one_ was rubbing his back. 

Looking through the side of his eye, the figures began to regain focus. The face to his left, rubbing soothing circles in his back, he recognized as his sister Allison. Standing next to her, he could see the facial features of his brother Diego start to sharpen. Next to him stood his other sister, Vanya. 

He needed to get out of here. He needed to **fucking** get out of here right now but he couldn't move. His body paralyzed as he gasped and shivered like a frightened child in his sister's arms. 

And that's when the first sob escaped his lips. Tears welling up and burning his eyes before pouring down his cheeks. 

For what felt like hours, Five sat in bed tremoring and sobbing uncontrollably. Too drained to dwell on the fact that three of his siblings were standing around watching him have a breakdown. His mind too exhausted to fight it, _too exhausted to care_. 

This is one of the reasons he didn't want to sleep. One of the reasons he  **refused ** to sleep. He would rather chug four pots of coffee to force himself to stay awake than deal with the repressed memories of the apocalypse that reared their ugly heads during his slumber. 

Eventually, Five's sobs ceased; Only letting out an occasional hiccup or whimper as he hesitantly pried his arms from around himself. 

He let himself focus on the humming from the white noise maker on his dresser. The glow from the nightlight in the hall giving him comfort as Allison continued to rub his back. 

He squeezed his eyes shut taking slow, deep inhales through his nose as Allison continued to soothe him -

"It's okay, Five. You're not alone anymore. We're here." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any inconsistencies, I have personally dealt with sleep paralysis but never night terrors


	5. Peanut Butter and Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *clenches fists* au where Five mcfreakin gets the validation and support he deserves.
> 
> And a snack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me writing fluff ?? More likely than you think.
> 
> Thank you for reading, I would never consider myself a writer, I just love TUA and Five and wanted to share my thoughts and ideas.  
> I am not looking for constructive criticism at this time - I amn just ... a litle creecher, I amn jus vibing.  
> Thanks for the support :)

"Hey"

A soft voice from his doorway pulled him from the equation he was scribbling on the wall of his bedroom. Eyes narrowing in irritation from being interrupted, he glanced behind his shoulder to see Vanya awkwardly standing in the opening of his bedroom. 

"Good, I was hoping you were here," she said. 

Five turned his mouth down into a frown as he looked around the room in contemplation, "Yes, but what are _you_ doing here ?"

"I um, I wanted to bring you something," she said as she emphasized the Tupperware in her hands. "I thought you might nee- well, I thought you might like it."

She hesitantly entered his room, meeting him halfway to gently hand him the small box. Raising an eyebrow, Five took it from her and opened the lid. 

The sickly sweet stench of marshmallow hit him in the face before he registered what he was looking at: a fluffernutter. The crust was intricately cut off and the sandwich was cut diagonally; obviously, time and care was put into the snack. 

Five felt his stomach twist into itself as it let a low groan at the smell of food. _'_ _Well shit, how long ago was the last time I ate ?'_ He thought to himself, letting his expression relax as he met Vanya's gaze. 

"You still like these right ? I saw you make one when you first got back." 

Five exhaled a laugh from his nose, "I remember eating these all the time before I left. I can't even tell you how many I would try to sneak before getting caught. Dad used to give me so much shit." 

Vanya said nothing as she let out a soft laugh of her own, her smile growing warm as Five picked up half of the sandwich and took a tentative bite from the corner. 

He soon found himself uncharacteristically shoving the rest of the sandwich into his mouth; taking greedy mouthfuls before even finishing chewing the previous bite. _I guess old habits die hard-_ the survival instincts he picked up during 45 years of isolation in a desolate wasteland not letting him pass up the chance to get something to eat. Even though he knew he was no longer in danger of going hungry again ... or maybe it was the thought that this was made specifically with him in mind that made it that much more appetizing. He didn't dwell on it. 

With his cheeks still full from the last bite, he handed the Tupperware back to Vanya with an appreciative nod. "Thank you," he said after swallowing.

He wanted to feel ridiculous for scarfing the sandwich down like a starved animal in front of his sister, but memories of them as kids stuffing themselves with Griddy's doughnuts until they got sick flooded his mind. The nostalgic memory helping to ease any of his self doubt about the current moment. 

Vanya offered a small smile in return as she took the small container back from Five. Both of them anticipating the other's next move. 

"You kno-" but before Five could finish his sentence Vanya had reached out to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders, letting the Tupperware in her grip loosen and drop to the floor. 

Five went rigid, calculating his next move. When was the last time he received a hug, let alone any physical contact that wasn't aimed to maim him ? He wanted to run, he wanted to disappear, he wanted to push her off, he ... never wanted her to let go.

Hesitantly Five let his arms wrap around her as he returned the hug and let himself find comfort in physical contact with another human being that he hadn't experienced in what felt like a lifetime- or in his case, practically  was a lifetime. 

For what felt like hours, Five gave in and let her hold him. He fought to keep his breathing steady as he let himself begin to melt in the unfamiliar - _yet much needed_ \- embrace until Vanya began to pull away.

Five let his arms relax back at his sides as Vanya eventually let go of him, her hands hesitantly folding in front of herself as she fidgeted with her fingers and kept her gaze on the ground. Five felt is fingers start to tap at his sides in anticipation, eyebrows softening in question as he stared intently at her face, waiting for her to speak.  _Please say something first, please say something first._

"I-" they both said, stopping to awkwardly glance at each other with a laugh as Vanya crossed her arms over her chest and finally looked up into his eyes.

"I'm just really glad you're back, Five." She told him; the corner of her mouth curving up into a soft smile 

He felt like he got sucker punched. His stomach dropped and his pulse quickened, how long has he been back and this was the first time anyone has said anything ? He didn't let it bother him that he didn't get a welcome home from his siblings, it didn't matter; he had one goal and it was to keep his family safe from the impending doom of the apocalypse. Although, he would be a liar if he said her words weren't appreciated. That her words deep down weren't  _desperately_ needed . 

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Five pressed his mouth into a thin line as he kept the rising, unfamiliar emotions of affection and appreciation from overwhelming him; nodding his head and taking a deep breath before exhaling it through his nose. 

"Thank you, Vanya," he said, letting himself offer her a genuine grin. "It's ... good to be back" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also feel like if anyone could effectively trap Five into a hug it might as well be Vanya


	6. Run Boy Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luther decides to treat by cooking a nice roast dinner but burns the shit out of it. Unfortunately for Five, he is in the academy when it happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have this hc that Luther loves to cook but he's HORRIBLE at it, and we all just know the smell of smoke and burnt meat are not Five's favorite things 
> 
> TW Mentions of vomiting but it's very brief 
> 
> I am not looking for constructive criticism at this time - I amn just ... a litle creecher, I amn jus vibing.  
> Thanks for the support :)

Smoke.

Fire.

** Burning ** .

 _ It's happening again _ .

Five found himself sprinting down the stairs three at a time, tripping over his own feet in his desperate effort to get to the front door; His fight or flight instincts kicking in long before his brain could rationalize the situation, panic set too deep to even think about using his powers. All he could think about was one thing: Get. The fuck.  _ Out _ .

\---

Downstairs in the kitchen, Luther was standing at the oven dramatically blowing on the scorched roast in front of him as smoke continued to billow from the burnt meat, setting off the fire alarm.

Ignoring the piercings beeps of the alarm, Luther resorted to using one of his oven mitts as a fan in an attempt to quell the smoke rising from the baking dish; he never was very good at cooking, it never stopped him from trying but he had never burnt a dish  _ this _ bad before. Sure he had ruined a couple dozen of cookies, a handful of cakes, let the pasta water boil over numerous times and even accidentally set the microwave to 50 minutes instead of 50 seconds more than he wanted to admit but this was a  _ disaster _ . The roast was scorched to a crusty, pitch black, it was shriveled half in size and was hard as a rock. A new record even for him. 

As Luther was about to turn his attention to silencing the blaring fire alarm, he saw a blur in the corner of his eye come zooming down the stairs and straight out the door.

"Five ?" Luther asked himself, forgetting the fire alarm as he rushed to the front door and watched Five haul ass down the street. It was actually pretty impressive, Luther had never seen Five run that fast before. He didn't even know he  _ could _ run that fast. Thinking about it, he never saw Five run that much at all, he always just relied on his powers.

Luther continued to watch Five whisk down the street, not showing any signs of stopping or slowing down. "Damn it," Luther muttered to himself as he pulled off the other oven mitt and tossed it on the floor, chasing after Five and shouting his name. 

\---

Five couldn't register what was happening, all he knew was that he had to run. He had to get out of there. The voice in his headed shrieking at him " _run, boy, run !!!_ " as Five continued to sprint down the road trying to forget the familiar, stomach churning smell of smoke and charred flesh that still surrounded him. 

As he ran, all he could see were the crumbled remains of buildings, smoke rising from the ashes of whatever was destroyed by the impact. The smoke. The  _smell_ . Everything was too overwhelming. So he kept running, desperately hoping to get away from the memories of the apocalypse that threatened to engulf him and swallow him whole.

Five took a sharp turn into the nearest alley, throwing his back against the brick wall as he tried to catch his breath. He squeezed his eyes shut and took greedy gulps of air, fighting the rising bile he felt burning in the back of his throat before losing the fight and lurching forward to vomit onto the asphalt. Coughing and sputtering, Five kept dry heaving as the smell of smoke and burnt flesh continued to linger in his nostrils.

He had no idea how long he had been crying before he slid his back down the brick alleyway wall and crouched on the floor, holding his arms over his head as if taking cover during a natural disaster. Visions of his siblings' corpses, burning buildings, and clouds of smoke taking over his mind as he tucked his knees into himself, trembling and sobbing as he continued to sit and take cover in the empty alleyway.

\---

Luther kept jogging down the street, head turning both ways looking for where Five could have gone.

"Five. FIVE." Luther continued to shout, ignoring the concerned glances he was receiving from everyone walking by him. "Come on, Five, where are you ??"

Eventually Luther spotted him, catching a glimpse of Five in an alley as he ran by. Luther quickly backtracked, taking a quick backwards jog to confirm that what he saw in the alley was in fact his brother.

What Luther found was unsettling. Five was on his side, uncomfortably close to what Luther assumed was a puddle puke, with his arms folded over his head. He was silent, but Luther could the visible tremors wrecking his body. Five looked so small, so helpless, curled in a tight ball on the cold asphalt, shaking and covering his head as if he was anticipating a catastrophic event to occur.

Luther crouched down next to Five, gently placing a hand on his back to get his attention but he didn't stir.

"Hey." Luther said, gently nudging Five.

Still no response.

"Hey." Luther said again, this time gently pulling Five towards him to see his face; Five's eyes were shut tight, his face pale, tears stained his cheeks, his jaw clenched and his mouth pressed into a thin line as he took shaky breaths through his nose.

"Five. Hey. What's going on you have to talk to me"

Cracking an eye open, Five let his gaze adjust on Luther's face as the images of the apocalypse slowly dispersed from his vision. 

Five furrowed his brows but kept his arms protectively wrapped over his head, "L-Luther ?"

Luther just nodded his head and gave his shoulder a soft shake, "yeah. C'mon talk to me. What happened ?"

Five's eyes went wide, thinking about that first whiff of smoke that triggered him to spiral into a full blown panic attack, but how is he supposed to explain that ? How is he supposed to explain that the simple smell of burnt food was enough to cause him to throw all inhibition and rationality out the window and sprint out of the house like a maniac ? How is he supposed to tell Luther that all he can think about is the smell of the scorched, decaying corpses in the apocalypse.  THEIR corpses. He should say something, he should accept the help, he should let Luther in but it's taking all he can to not get up and start running again. Fuck this was too much, this was too much. 

"I don't - I don't know. The smoke, the fire I just I-"

"Fire ?" Luther questioned, raising an eyebrow and looking around the alley. "There's no fire. Where's the fire ?"

"T-the academy-"

Luther's eyes widened in realization, giving Five a dumbfounded expression as he embarrassingly admitted his cooking error, "Oh, yeah that .. I just burnt dinner.  Really bad. Like really really bad."

"What ?"

"Yeah I was, um well I was trying to make something nice but burnt the shit out of the roast." Luther told him with a chuckle, flashing him a grin and shrugging his shoulders. "That's all."

Five narrowed his eyes at Luther, squinting at him and twisting his mouth into a frown. Clenching and unclenching his jaw, lowering his arms as he calculated his next move. He's regained enough of his composure that he could definitely use his powers by now; he should jump, he should just get out of here, what other options does he have-

But his thoughts were interrupted by a hand being shoved in his direction. He fixed his attention from the hand, to Luther's face. Luther just smiled as he continued to offered Five his hand, waiting patiently for Five to settle down enough to come to a decision.

Hesitantly, Five took Luther's hand as he helped him to his feet.

"Cmon, let's get back to the Academy. We can order a pizza," Luther offered, giving Five a hearty pat on the back causing him to stumble forward a few steps.

"Sure," Five agreed, regathering his composure and cracking a slight smile before jabbing a still trembling finger at Luther's chest, "but if you put meat on it I swear to god."

Luther just laughed as he gave Five another, yet much gentler, pat on the back as they made their way back to the academy.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr @ kakakuroo !


End file.
